Author: mentalstrength24

It’s hard to imagine being able to think positively and be happy again after a traumatic event. The truth is, it’s more than possible.

I was speaking to a friend recently about how to work through difficult times. Times where all she could see was darkness and didn’t know how to light her own path again. She has been diagnosed with a reproductive condition which has caused her to withdraw from social events, affected her work life and personal life.

I used my experience of losing my husband suddenly as a way of her trying to understand there is hope of moving forward and feeling happiness again. I had to be brutally honest with her. Although our situations are very different I thought I could help her see things clearer. My road hasn’t been easy and there’s been so much to deal with since my husband’s death BUT, I have not once given up on taking care of myself and lighting my own path to happiness.

You can tell someone to go get counselling but the truth is, for some people it’s not that easy. They either don’t believe it will work, don’t know where to start or what to talk about, or just don’t want to talk at all. Apart from telling her that I do think getting counselling will help (helped me tremendously over the past year), I also wanted to explain to her how it has helped me. I used this real ‘story’ as an example of how putting in hard work to get her out of this rut will lead her to happiness again.

Rather than thinking “this is too hard”, “why did this happen to me?”, “what have I don’t to deserve this?”, “Life will never be the same again”, think the opposite and start taking action to make your life the best it can be. It’s true, life will never be the same after you’ve been through trauma or been given bad news about your health. But you have a choice, stay out in this moment of darkness or find some matches and light your own fucking path to happiness.

Just light that bitch up yourself because no one will do it for you!

Thanks for reading xx

Today marks what would have been my husband’s 29th birthday.

Matt passed away almost a year ago (two weeks until his 1 year anniversary). He suffered deep depression, anxiety and work related stress. Not only did he suffer these crippling mental health conditions, he was born with Aspergers. This is a behavioural condition affecting one’s ability to relate to and understand others on an emotional level.

His mental health had been crippling him over the final year and a half of his life. The last 3 months is when I realised he wasn’t Matt anymore. I did what I could to support him and let him know if he needed me I was there. I would have done anything to help him.

Since Matt’s death, I have become so much more aware of the signs of depression. I have focussed on ensuring I take care of myself and my mental health. Over that last year I have started understanding how important I am to me. I don’t mean to sound selfish. Looking after yourself first is not selfish, it’s smart. Without your health you have nothing. If you don’t take care of yourself, you’re no good to anyone.

I’ve been slapped with a serious reality check. The strength I have now is empowering me to achieve the best I can and do the most with my life, for me firstly and for my late husband. I will not allow this ‘experience’ to cripple me.

Thanks for listening. xx

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton